


Someone Like You

by nickershnick25



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on an Adele Song, F/M, M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic, someone like you - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 13:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6118213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickershnick25/pseuds/nickershnick25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco receives an invitation to the celebration of the birth of James Sirius Potter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Like You

**_I heard that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now._** If only I hadn’t had to read it on the front page of the Daily Prophet. But I guess I’m a fool to expect any less. A fool to think that I deserve more than that. It feels like a punch to the gut. A surprise that I hadn’t been expecting. And that is where I went wrong. Because _she_ was always there wasn’t _she_? _She_ was always there waiting. Hoping for our demise. Secretly plotting our end so that _she_ could have you. So that you would be all _hers_ just like everyone wanted. Like everyone expected. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised. Even after being gone for so long. Even though I was the one to walk away.

It wasn’t too long after, that I ran into one of our old classmates. **_I heard that your dreams came true._** He told me of your “happy” news. **_Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you._** You had always wanted a family. I knew it even then. I knew from the silent tear filled whispers in which you shared with me your childhood. You wanted to give them what you never had. You wanted them to know what you never knew. You never could grasp that it wasn’t something that I wouldn’t give you. It was that I couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. Believe me. Trust that if there was any way I could have given you what you needed I would have. Because I wanted to be that for you. I wanted to give you your dreams. I wanted to give you a family. And when I knew that would never be. That in the end it would tear us apart. I walked away from you. I gave you up so you could have your dream.

My heart nearly stops when I see the name on the envelope. All of a sudden my heart is taken over with hope. My mind races with the possibilities. When I open it and see what it is my hope shatters. The words beautifully scripted across the top of the page smear underneath the tear that falls.

**_Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter invite you  
to celebrate the birth of their son   
James Sirius Potter._ **

As I walk through the front door of your house my heart clenches. The entry way wall is covered in photos. You and _her_ on your bonding day. You are smiling but there is a distant sadness in your eyes. You, Weasley, and Granger in a muggle pub all holding up a mug of beer. _Her_ lounging on a bench in a garden, stomach rounded and sticking out. You sleeping, your head resting on _her_ leg hand splayed out across _her_ expanded belly. I turn away. I can’t look anymore. And it is then that I notice you. Your eyes are wide with surprise as if you never expected me to come. As if the invitation had just been a formality. And I feel stupid having just thought of that now. But it is too late to turn back. Slowly we walk towards each other. And when we are only inches apart we stop. I don’t know how to greet you. And I can see that you are struggling with the same confusion. I take a chance. I reach out and cup your cheek. Run my thumb across your lips. I feel the sharp intake of breath. And then you back away. **  
_Old friend, why are you so shy?_  
** Old friend. I literally laugh out loud at that sentiment and you look at me in wonder. I know you see the question in my eyes and still you don’t say anything. And the odd thing is that we were never really friends were we. I wanted that once.

I offered that to you one day so very long ago. I held my hand out to you and what did you do? Nothing. You scoffed at it as if it were the last thing you would accept. And now? You hold back from me. **_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._** You wouldn’t even hide from the dark. You never used to let your fear stop you. You never used to worry about what it would cost. You faced it head on and saved us all. 

**_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited._** Because that’s what I am. Isn’t it? You didn’t want me here. You thought that I would be too weak. Too afraid to open that wound again. And for a long time I would have been. **_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._** I tried as long as I could. I ignored the papers and the magazines. I blocked it all out for a while. I worked. I enveloped myself in another life. Another man. And then another and another. But none of them were you. They never are. I know you weren’t expecting me. I know that I am putting everything you built at risk. But I just couldn’t stay away. **_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over._** I thought that you would look at me and know what I have been through all these years. I thought that you would know because you had been there too. I thought that you would see my face and that it would all come flooding back. That for me it wasn’t over. That for me it would never be over. Not that day. Not now. I thought. I hoped that it wasn’t over for you as well. But apparently I was wrong. 

We fall into that awkward conversation that happens when you see someone after a long separation. How are you? What have you been doing? Are you seeing anyone? Really? Do you have to ask? You used to know me so well. We used to know each other so well. One look and we could feel what the other was thinking. But I humor you anyways. **_You know how the time flies only yesterday it was the time of our lives._** And now it is only the time of yours. Or so it seems. Because even though you shy away from me. I can see it’s a struggle. I can see you fighting that ever present urge to reach. To touch. To feel. To love. 

You mention the war. How long it’s been. How everything has changed. We reminisce. **_We were born and raised in a summer haze bound by the surprise of our glory days._** It was so different back then. The turmoil. The stress. The ever draining presence of war bound us together. We found comfort in each other. But even though it started in war I thought it would end in love. I thought that it would be us with the bright smiles at our bonding. Us who were so giddy in love that not even a photo could contain it. But it’s not. And even though I try to move on it doesn’t matter. **_Nothing compares, no worries or cares._** None of it is the same as what I should have had with you. I try not to regress. I try not to linger too long on those feelings because **_regrets and mistakes are memories made._** Memories that I keep with me. Memories that even if I tried I couldn’t give away. 

I came. I had to. I had to know. But **_who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_** I thought it would be different. But it’s not. **_Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too._** But that’s a lie. You and I both know it. I could never find anyone like you. There is not now or will there ever be another you. And that is something that I have to live with. I always wanted you to be happy. Always. Even that first day in Diagon Alley. Even then. And I want it for you now. I want it for you now even if that means it’s with _her_. Could _she_ say the same? Would _she_ want you to be happy even if it was with me? If not, then _she_ doesn’t love you. Not like I love you.

All of sudden I am overcome with the weight of it all. I have to leave. I have to get out of here. I have to escape before you suck every last bit of my façade away. Reaching out again I touch your face. You don’t back away this time. But you don’t look at me either. **_Don't forget me, I beg._** And it’s almost laughable. Because it would be impossible for me to forget you. And I would like to think that you feel the same but I just don’t know anymore. Finally your green, green eyes meet mine. **_"I'll remember", you say._** And I want to believe you. I want to believe so badly that what we had. What we were. Is still with you. Will always be with you. Looking to the wall again I see another photo. You are on one knee standing in front of _her_ surrounded by Weasleys. She is smiling and even I can admit that _she_ is beautiful. When I look back at you I can see the pity in your eyes and I think **_sometimes it lasts in love._** Sometimes you get your dream. Sometimes you get forever. **_But sometimes it hurts instead._**

Dropping my hand from your cheek I turn without another word and walk out the door. A lone tear rolling down my face. I am halfway to the apparition point when I hear it. Wait! Draco, wait! By the time I turn around you have caught up with me. And now it is your turn to reach. You wipe the tear gently from my cheek and offer me a sad smile. You lean in and press your lips to mine like a question. And it is just like the first time. Just like that night alone in your room at Grimmauld place so many years ago. Yes, **_sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead._** And thankfully today. Right now. The pain is not mine. It’s _hers_.


End file.
